Sand Coffin! A wtf fanfic
by Sailor Element
Summary: What happens when at 4am I decide to write a crack fic! this is a Gaa/Saku story.


Sand Coffin!! A wtf fanfic

AN== So, this story came to me after spending to much time cosplaying with my friends.. This is a total crack fic, and the mission that sakura is sent on never gets completed. Huge spelling errors I know. I only have word pad and its 4am. I know it sucks and its totally UN-beta-ed but oh well! onto the crack!!

Sakura Haruno a kunoichi of the village hidden in the leafs was still looking down at the mission assignment Lady Tsunade had handed her ten minutes ago. "You want me to do what!" Still looking down at the paper her hand clenched tighter as she looked up at the Hokage.

"Its simple Sakura, I want you to go to Sauna and help the new Kazekage with his problem." As she said this Tsunade's smile got bigger. She knew Sakura would be upset but this was taking it a bit to far. "Sakura! Your one of the best Kunoichi we have, you also have a standing relationship with the Kazekage and his family. This mission is only for a week, you know I can't send Ino back to Sauna after that last incident with Temari." They both suddered thinking about the total chaos that happened between Ino and Temari the last time she was sent to sauna.

As sakura nodded her head she stood up, bowing to the Hokage before walking out of her office. She needed to get some things ready, grumbling to herself about Insomniacs and lazy ass drunk hokages.

Three days later!

As she walked through the main gates Sakura was stopped not once, but twice by guards. Finally getting on her last never she screamed at them. "I AM HERE AT THE REQUEST OF YOUR FUCKING KAZEKAGE! IF YOU STUPID ASS HATS DON'T GET OUT OF MY WAY I WILL MAKE SURE HE KNOWS THAT IT WAS YOU WHO MADE ME LATE!" taking a deep breath to start yelling again she was stopped short when she heard someone laughing quite loudly and turning to punch the crap out of them, she turned only to stop short when she noticed Kankuro flat on his back holding his stomach laughing his ass off.

"You! hahahaha, said..Hahahahaha... Ass..hahahahaha.. hats!!!" As he continued to laugh hard she flipped him the bird and stormed off towards the tower no longer even caring if someone stopped her again. She was going to kill Gaara when she saw him!

When she arrived at his office she stormed into the room, not caring if she was breaking all the rules. All she wanted to do was find out why she was sent here and complete her mission so she could go home! What she didn't expect to find was the Kazekage glaring out his window looking over the village trying not to notice the mountain of paper work on his desk. "My god, he is worse then Tsunade!" She thought to herself as she watched him she coughed lightly, not wanting to startle him and get herself killed before she found out what this hole thing was about.

Gaara was never one to space out, but he was very concerned with his current mental state he knew he had to request help from Tsunade when it came to something as important as his life. What he didn't know is that she had sent Sakura to help him.. When he heard the sound he whirled around sand ready to attack, he saw it was her. "What the hell are you doing here?" He asked without thinking.

Sakura blinked, then looked hard at him then blinked again. Did he really just ask me what I am doing here?" She thought to herself.. Realizing he was waiting for an answer she replied. "I was sent here by the Hokage to help you with your 'little' problem, but if you have such a 'big' problem with it being me who was sent here I can leave now.!" As she said this she turned to storm out of the room intent on getting back home as fast as she could, what she didn't count on was the sudden jerk aginst her arms and legs as she was dragged back into the room by Gaara's sand. "What the hell you sand using pervert! Let me go!!" she said as she infused her arms and legs with chakra ad broke free surprising herself and gaara.

He looked at her for a long time before making his sand rise up to grab at her. "Do that again!" He commanded her as he make his bonds tighter around her, she complied and used more chakra to break free though this time it was harder. Gaara was starting to enjoy this little game while sakura was getting really mad. "Ok Gaara! I'm tired of this, why in the hell am I here?" She asked as he once more covered her arms and legs with sand.

His almost smile disappeared from his face and he gave her a long hard look. "I require something from you." Was all he said as he waited for her to ask what it was. He didn't have to wait long, the pink haired kunoichi was tired, mad and now had sand in places she didn't know sand could be. "What do you require from me of Great Kazekage?" She said with as much sarcasm as she could manage.

He grinned at her, a full blown grin. It made her cringe and try and move away slightly. As he spoke he brought her up against his body, shocking her with the sudden contact. "I want only one thing from you." As he said this his lips where almost against hers, his breath brushing against her skin. "What is it Gaara?" She asked looking into his eyes hoping it was what she was thinking.

He stuck his tongue out, slowly sliding it across her lips causing her to jump slightly in supervise. When he spoke it was a whisper but she heard it all. "I want to teach you something, but I need you to trust me." She nodded her head waiting for him to tell her what he wanted to teach her. In all of her seventeen years as a kunoichi, nothing could have prepared Sakura for what he said next.

Gaara leaned down and licked her neck before moving his lips to her ear to whisper what he wanted her to do. He was expecting to to attack him, or even yell at him. What happened next.. Well they both would forever deny it ever happened. *WHAM* Gaara looked down as Sakura fainted on him, his sand didn't event react. He was just looking at her, when she finally came conscious again. She looked up at him. "Ok, did I really just hear you say you wanted to teach me to use the Sand Coffin Technique?" At his Nod she continued. "But wait, the way you said that.." She took another Minuit to think about the way he worded it then turned bright red and screamed his words back at him. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN!" She said taking a deep breath before continuing. "YOU WANT ME TO USE THE SAND COFFIN BUT WITH MY MOUTH!!!" Realizing exactly what he meant, she promptly fainted again.

Two days later

Sakura woke up, she thought it was all a bad dream. Nothing like that could ever happen right? laughing at herself and her silly thoughts she got up only to realize that she was not in her bed. "Where the hell am I?" She muttered as she looked at her surroundings she noticed a piece of paper on the desk.

Sakura~

What ever my brother said to you must have been bad, he hasn't spoken to anyone in two days. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? I want answers, ill be by in an hour!

~Temari~

At that moment, sakura decided she didn't want to be awake a promptly went back to bed and put herself in a coma..

The end..

.

***AN***I am sooo sorry.. this is a total crack fic... *hits head on wall*


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